Ladies: a date is not a hangout...the reasons will shock you!

By Ethelbert Obinna Umeh



I know the issue of having a simple ‘date and a friendly hangout’ has been raising countless questions among young people. Some have sent me mail asking for my polite suggestion on this.
Well, I am here to correct some impressions. It could be embarrassing to misunderstand someone’s intentions when you are on a date. This is where the problem of language
comes in.
Ladies, get some facts right, when someone says let’s go on a date.
He meant or will likely do the following:
·         Let’s have a dinner together
·         He gives you a cute flower or gift items
·         He takes you to a cool area, probably somewhere quiet, with live music, or dimly lit.
·         He willingly accepts to foot the bills
·         He walks or drives you home, and possibly augments it with a goodnight text, or a good morning text asking you how was your night sleep.
·         He keep prolonging the night time as long as he wish
·         He makes serious attempt to get in touch with physical attributes- I am not even talking about engaging in a kiss with you, but he can exhibit some things like arms across your waist or shoulders, hair touching etc.
It will never be called a date if:
·         He begs you to assist him in going for an event he had earlier planned going.
·         If he doesn’t promise to foot your bills- make sure you have some money with you.
·         If he starts to talk about physical affection or another love interest
·         If he insists that you will meet his friends or colleagues or family members afterwards
·         He occasionally calls you pal, sexy, sweetie, buddy at intervals etc
So it is your ultimate responsibility to know when someone just wants a date or ordinary friendly hangout with you.
Honestly, I don’t think if some girls actually understand the true meaning of what a date is. Some of them erroneously believe that a date with a guy implies that the guy will take you to a luxurious eatery, exquisite bar & cuisine, cinema just to spend some time with you.
Then within the process of discussion, he will get to know more about your likes, dislikes, lifestyle, professions, family status, family status and many more. Your ability to accept him will depend on the way he handles your date with him. This is absolutely wrong.
Some girls will go as far as coming with their circle of friends, roommates, neighbours, course mates and so on just to feast on the guy’s finance or devour him as some would say.

The question is ‘are those actions right? In my thinking, the right thing to do is to come alone, especially if you are invited to public places. If you have any doubt about his personality, you can politely decline to go or invite the person to a place you are familiar with it.

An attempt to devour him financially will not be fair. A date doesn’t mean a birthday feast or get-together-party, or that you will be raped, or that you must visit him in his house. Going for a birthday party, get-together-party, or other social activities can be likened as a hangout.

So, be careful and stop seeing a guy’s desire to your friend as an avenue for sapping him or enriching yourself materially. This mindset ought to be changed; a date is not a hangout.

What is your take on this?


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